Evening all,
I have had a couple of complaints that I am no longer updating you with news of what I am having for my tea. So, tonight, I can tell you that I am having Chicken Tikka Masala from Tesco's, with boiled rice...the rice is Mr Sainsbury's.
When I was single I learnt a lot about 'Lonely Man' meals...you know, the ones that come in a little plastic tray with the instructions 'pierce lid several times and put in the oven for 20 minutes at 200c'...
Warning: These meals are designed to keep you single...heavily loaded in garlic and a guaranteed cure for constipation (keep mints and Imodium close at hand)....it's all part of the Lonely Meal vicious circle.
There are two types of Lonely Meal. One, where you have to pierce the lid several times and then stick it in the oven. The other, you have to remove the lid completely, and then stick it in the oven.
The latter is ingeniously designed so that when you try and remove the cellophane covering only the over-hanging edge (the bit to get you started) will come off. If you're an irritable bugger like me then this delay in preparing your 'fast food' only heightens the whole depressing crapness of your situation. You then have to spend 10 minutes with a sharp knife carefully slicing the remaining covering from your dish like a well-seasoned fisherman skinning a shark.
The other meal (that requires piercing several times) is happy to go in the oven after a quick (therapeutic) stabbing. However, the fun is yet to come. After it's twenty minutes in the oven it is ready to torment the average, hungry, lonely man.
You can peel off three quarters of the film lid....no problem...but the last corner clings on like a koala bear to a tree. You tug and you tug....irritability increasing...before it decides the moment has come to free itself and spring off, spraying your face with any sauce that was attached to it. If you wear glasses...like me...this is particularly fun as the sauce then smears really badly when you try and clean your lenses...your meal is luke warm by the time you get to eat it.
You can then consider these cherished memories when you are sat for the majority of the following day in the company toilet looking at your shoes as the Masala leaves your body faster than Lewis Hamilton out of a pitstop.
Happy Days!
No sponsors today, on the website or the sponsorship form...boo hoo....If I work with and you are reading this...I will make YOU (you can't nominate a recipient) a cup of tea....whenever you want (at work!)...if you double your sponsorship money....all next week.
I will also post an update photo tomorrow. Now for that masala.
Bon Appetite.
David
