Happy Valentines Day folks,
What a waste of time and money Valentines Day is eh?
I don't want a cuddly bear holding a rose or an over-sized card in the shape of a heart from Clintons Cards. And I don't want to feel like I have to buy my lady some over-priced chocolates or pay for a meal in a cheesy restaurant because everyone else is.
Tonight Norwich will be clogged up with people who only go to a restaurant on the 14th February or Christmas Day (because there isn't a Turkey Tonight version of Chicken Tonight). The kind of people who think it's 'hilarious' to click their fingers and call the waiter "garcon" whilst wearing a cheap shirt from Top Man, and that'll be made of one of the three primary colours.
Nup, Mr Cobb will be dining at home tonight on a huge portion of bah humbug.
Actually, I'll be cooking the other half a meal and then we'll watch a Colin Firth romcom on dvd...it doesn't get much better than that, does it?
But it's taken me a bit of time to learn...
The first girl I ever went out with, Tania Bartlett, dumped me for not kissing her. I should have known that it wasn't going to work out on our first date - a trip to Colchester. No sooner had we got off the bus than a pigeon decided to wish me luck by crapping on my shoulder. I had to waste the popcorn allowance from my date kitty buying some tissues from Superdrug to wipe it off. Gutted.
We then went to see Phil Collins in the Great Train Robbers film Buster at the cinema (without popcorn). Halfway through the film Tania pushed her shoulder into my side as Phil's Groovy Kind of Love came over the sound system and me being a little bit inexperienced didn't realise what was going on, so I assumed she just wanted some more space so I moved further away. Cue a funny look and her looking a bit miffed...how much space does she need? I thought to myself, so I moved away further still...her face didn't improve much. About three days later I twigged what she had wanted...
Tania dumped me when I refused to kiss her in front of my mates...in those days my head would go so red there was a potential that it could explode if it was kissed...so i had to be careful. She ended our relationship on Valentines Day and whilst she never got a kiss from me, she did give me T'Pau's single China In Your Hand to soften the blow. I didn't know which was worse, being dumped or owning a T'Pau record.
But if I can give you any advice on romance...Don't push too far, your dreams are china in your hand, don't wish too hard, because they may come true...
Happy Valentines Day!
David
x
